Sixth grade was the first year of "middle school," which is what St. Margaret's called Jr. High. I didn't realize how lame I sounded saying "Lower School," "Middle School" and "Upper School" until I started talking to normal people that went to grade school, junior high and high school. Anyway, I was 11 years old in 6th grade, and enjoying my last gasp of Lolita-aged hottness before puberty had it's cruel, cruel way with me. In this installment of my Very Secret Diary, I must decide between two equally "nice & cool" prospective "b-friends," struggle with the jealousy I have for a friend with "an awesome popular boyfriend," and fret for the health of yet another friend who may be "anerexic or balemic (sic) I can't remember which." But none of that really matters because "I can't wait 'til summer! Weeee!"
Boyfriends, bulemia, whatever!! I love passing notes and soccer is so cool!
Post script - the very next day one of my amorous suitors "un-asked me out" because he "didn't feel the same way anymore." So I said yes to the other one.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
I Hate Patterened Underwhere
Sluts! Smokers! No one is safe from my youthful self-righteousness. This time the target of concern is our beloved housekeeper Peggy, who smoked cigarettes, which I had been taught were VERY BAD and a GATEWAY DRUG and STINKY etc etc. (We actually had an all school assembly one time with Christopher Nance, who was the local weather guy (double parenthetical - omg I just googled him and found out he was fired in 2002 for "menacing and profane off-air behavior" !!!??? wtf that is so crazy), anyway he came and spoke to us in the gym and I vividly remember he said he would rather "lick a rat than kiss a smoker." This image stuck with me forever and when I finally kissed a smoker as a young adult I thought "this is really not so bad and actually kind of hot" so yeah, drug deterrent fail SMES.)
Stay tuned for next time, when you'll learn what kind of "underwhere" I preferred as a 9 year old.
Stay tuned for next time, when you'll learn what kind of "underwhere" I preferred as a 9 year old.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Precious Moments Diary Cover
Nuzzling with geese is always a precious moment. Other precious moments include being a naked toddler cherub riding shooting stars, holding hands with other white children, scattering bird feed, obeying your parents, following your dreams, and having a gigantic head.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Early slut shaming, TV crushes, and other things that are "so cool"
Ah yes, the "imodest brat" on my AYSO team. Her name was Shayla and she wore a hot pink leopard print sorts bra to every practice, which was bananas to me because I didn't even wear a jog bra at age 9.
Then of course we get into my continued run down of which boys I think are cute - in this edition, an older boy is "sorta cute" but not as cute as "the first king in the Christmas Pagent (sic)." Doogie Houser gets a shout out (an early flash of my total lack of gaydar), and of course Zach Morris from Saved by the Bell, who I call "Mark Paul."
But for me it all comes back to "I love passing notes and soccer is so cool." That so aptly sums up my state of mind as a fourth grader in south OC in 1993. At that point, I had no doubt that I would grow up to be beautiful and smart and marry a rich man and have lots of children. This was before I knew I was at least partially on Doogie Houser's team.
And for what it's worth, I still like passing notes and still think soccer is cool. Non ironically. I really love soccer.
Then of course we get into my continued run down of which boys I think are cute - in this edition, an older boy is "sorta cute" but not as cute as "the first king in the Christmas Pagent (sic)." Doogie Houser gets a shout out (an early flash of my total lack of gaydar), and of course Zach Morris from Saved by the Bell, who I call "Mark Paul."
But for me it all comes back to "I love passing notes and soccer is so cool." That so aptly sums up my state of mind as a fourth grader in south OC in 1993. At that point, I had no doubt that I would grow up to be beautiful and smart and marry a rich man and have lots of children. This was before I knew I was at least partially on Doogie Houser's team.
And for what it's worth, I still like passing notes and still think soccer is cool. Non ironically. I really love soccer.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
Big Ones: a Boobifesto, age 11
It's sad that I struggle with a lot of the same shit now. I want the affirmation of the patriarchy but resent its power of me.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Flash Forward: 6th Grade
This is when I start to think that I have some really Big Ideas and am very Down To Earth and Cool. Self-awareness was not my strong point.
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